Love to Eat, Hate to Eat: a summary of part one

I've been meaning to post this for awhile now, and always find myself getting distracted with mundane things and never getting around to it, but I've been rereading - more like rescanning - this book to rediscover its little jewels of wisdom, and it has been really convicting!

Part one is titled "A Renewed Focus," and it is really helping me to renew my focus on both my relationship with God and my relationship with food. I love that this is a book not just for those who genuinely have weight to lose, but also for those who should not lose weight; both for those who love food and struggle to not eat it, and those who hate food and choose not to eat when they should. Part one is really foundational to understanding how we allow food to control us when so much more (and better) is offered to us.

Chapter one: From Heartache to a Sense of Purpose
Whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do all to the Glory of God - I Corinthians 10:31

Fitzpatrick writes in the first chapter, "So in terms of our eating habits we were all very different (talking about previous case studies she sites of overeaters, anorexics, and bulimics, which also included her own story), and yet all of us were totally consumed by the tyranny of food and eating" (pg. 17). She goes on to write, " Tyranny is just the right word to use when it comes to the way many of us think about food, dieting, and our weight. Tyranny is oppression. It is enslavement. It means that we're dominated by thoughts and habits that torment and overpower" (pg. 17). I love how she uses this word tyranny, because I think it is true for so many women that food or thoughts of food can easily be an enslaving issue. This word reminds me of a conversation I once had with a friend, in which she was describing a conversation with her husband in which he explained that he forgets to eat during the day because he is so easily distracted by other things. In telling me this, her response was, "How does he forget to eat? I plan my whole day around what I eat!" So many women (not all, to be sure) find themselves in some way enslaved by food or thoughts of food. So how do we move beyond this tyranny of food? How do we begin to live a life that is not controlled (or at least mostly comprised of) thoughts of food and begin to live a life of purpose beyond the next meal?  Fitzpatrick submits that "the first step in learning to live a life that Glorifies God is to realize that every part of our lives is lived before Him" (pg. 20). Life is bigger   than food and God has more planned for us than eating or not eating. Food is pleasurable to eat, and it was intended to be that way by God, but there is also so much more. As Fitzpatrick concludes, "When you begin to get a picture of the sweetness, purity, and loveliness of the Lord, you will realize that all that the world has to offer is insignificant in comparison to Him" (pg. 21). Food is a false joy in comparison to the joy that God offers.

Chapter two: The Change God Desires
Beloved, now we are children of God, and it has not appeared as yet what we shall be. We know that, when He appears, we shall be like Him, because we shall see Him just as He is. - 1 John 3:2


So how do we move beyond this false joy to real joy? Is it possible? Absolutely! But real change begins not with the size of my jeans or the hours I spend running, but with the inward change of my heart. Fitzgerald writes, "The transformation that God wants to accomplish in you isn't merely the loss of 50 pounds or even the establishment of good eating habits. No, this transformation is much deeper than that. He wants you to be like Jesus" (pg. 27)! It's the outward change that we put so much effort into that will never bring true joy, and the inward change of the heart that we put so little into that will bring lasting change and true joy. Fizpatrick writes, "I know that it's impossible to really enjoy the presence of a holy God if my life is filled with anxiety, fear or self-indulgence" (pg. 29). Isn't this what eating and the tyranny of food bring so much of the time - anxiety, fear, self-indulgence? I'm worried I ate too many calories today. I'm afraid I'm never going to be thin or beautiful. I've been dieting well, so I deserve this cookie. Anxiety, fear, self-indulgence. The ugliness of our inward lives that God wants to redeem. As Fitzpatrick wrote, "He wants to free you from your trust and dependence in yourself and give you the peace and joy that comes only when you are trusting in Him" (pg. 29). So how do we begin to trust Him? According to Fitzpatrick, "The word trust means more than just "believe." It means that you must put your confidence in Him; you must rely wholly upon Him . . . this kind of trust is a firm belief in the reliability of God. I must learn what He says about himself - who he says He is - and then I must embrace this truth about Him. I can trust Him because I know His character - He's trustworthy" (pg. 30)!
In this chapter, she outlines a few of God's attributes: Eternal, immense, Perfect in Holiness, Perfect in Wisdom and Knowledge, Filled with Goodness. Filled with Truth. Just this list alone challenges me to want to know Christ better! He offers eternal happiness, and that is where true joy is. Not in losing a few pounds or gaining a few muscles. We often delight more in temporal pleasures than eternal ones, and that is where false joy takes root, grows, and then suffers a terrible death. Over and over and over. But eternal joy does not die and that is what Christ is offering. Fitzpatrick concludes by asserting that the change Christ wants to begin in you is an inward change, not an outward one. She writes, "I'm not saying that you shouldn't think about losing weight if you're overweight, or gaining weight if you're too thin. I'm just saying that is the wrong focus. Your focus should be on pleasing your heavenly father with a heart that is fully trusting, fully resting, fully rejoicing in his love" (pg. 35). So where is your focus?

Chapter three: Mirror, Mirror in My Heart
The King's daughter is all glorious within; her clothing is interwoven with gold. - Psalm 45:13

Chapter three is all about believing the lie that outward appearance will bring happiness and joy to our lives. People starve themselves, hurt themselves, spend thousands of dollars on appearance. What is the reason? Fitzpatrick concludes, "It seems to me we act this way because we're willing to believe a lie. Here is what I believe the lie is: It is that somehow, if we could just look like the latest supermodel, we would find true happiness and contentment" (pg. 38). Yet, we know this to not be true. There are plenty of "beautiful" people who are miserable. Being at an "ideal" weight will not make life "ideal." Fitzpatrick submits that all of the focus we put on being "ideal" is distracting us from what is going on in our hearts. She writes, "Why would we be willing to believe such a ridiculous lie? Aside from the fact that our the cultural pressures to 'look good' are enormous . . . isn't there something inherently attractive in thinking that our problems are only skin deep? . . . 'I'm no a rebel or idolator, I just have this little appearance problem. It's really no big deal and once I lose 50 pounds (or gain 15 pounds, or get in shape, or have that cosmetic surgery, or . . .) then my life will really be just fine, thank you.' This focus on outward appearance is a nifty distraction from my real character defects" (pg. 39). We sacrifice hours of time and effort to look good, yet it distracts us from what we really look like. We see the outside, and often would rather not think about the inside. But that is all that God cares about, and that is all that will lead to true joy. Yet, Fitzpatrick is not saying that it is wrong to seek to look good or be beautiful. It's really a heart issue, and each must consider the state of their own heart in pursuit of physical beauty. She writes, "Are you trusting in the way that you look to enable you to experience peace and joy, to control the world, to garner praise for yourself? No one but you can draw the line between what is appropriate and what is sinful" (pg. 43). She does assert that the bible never commands or commends thinness, and seeking it for the sake of thinness alone (without seeking to Godly eating habits or considering the reasons for desiring thinness) is not a Godly pursuit, but a vane one. She submits that fear of God is what should be cultivated. She writes, "Instead of believing the lies from the world - lies that tell you that outer beauty is the road to happiness - you should learn to fear God and believe what he says about you. Let His word tell you what you should value, what you should seek after, what you should fear. Instead of fearing other's opinions about you, how you look, and your value, you should fear and seek God, your wonderful heavenly Father" (pg. 47). Life is bigger than a few pounds, and God desires so much more for us than to fit into those skinny jeans in the closet.

And that concludes part one,"A renewed focus," from Love to Eat, Hate to Eat: Breaking the Bondage of Destructive Eating Habits.  It has definitely challenged me to rethink my focus and reconsider what is motivating me to lose weight. I hope you find it helpful as well.