Lessons from Kota

In these last few days of being pregnant, I find myself feeling impatient. I am ready for the next stage of my life to begin. That stage where my baby enters this world and I discover the joys, and even hardships, of motherhood; That stage where I am not pregnant anymore, where I can turn over in bed easily once again, where I can go running, where I do not have swollen ankles and hands, etc.  I know God's timing is perfect, but I find myself questioning why He has not let me have this baby yet, because I think it would be perfect to have it this week. 

As I am living out this impatience, feeling completely justified in my own thoughts and that my ways are best, my dog brings me back to the truth. Most mothers that I know are continually being challenged in their own lives by the lives of their children. I suppose that will soon be the case for me, but for now, my children are my dog and cat. And I have recently learned a lesson in patience and trust in my own life by observing my dog. 

For those of you who know Kota, you know that she is a rambunctious and friendly 80-lb Rottweiler. She is moderately well trained. She is smart and knows how to obey and that rewards will come to her when she does. Yet, recently I have noticed that at times her desire for reward leads her to impatience and disobedience. 

A perfect example of this is dinner time. Kota loves food. She will eat anything. Except olives. And she appears to never get enough to eat. Every night, Kip and I sit down at the dinner table to eat and Kota sits attentively by the table, waiting. She has learned that if she waits patiently for us to finish eating, she will get the leftovers. Most nights, she does this well and she is rewarded greatly. Sometimes, however, we take too long and she grows impatient. She will then let out the smallest of barks, just to remind us that she is there and waiting. We assure her that she is not forgotten and she is temporarily satisfied. And then she will start to whine. Although we have not forgotten her and we fully intend to give her leftovers when we are finished, Kota gets impatient because we are not being fast enough and she is afraid that she has been forgotten, so she starts to complain. She begins to doubt that we intend good for her and feels the need to remind us to remember her and to hurry up. 

When I see Kota do this, I think what a silly dog she is. Doesn't she know that we haven't forgotten her? Doesn't she know that if she waits patiently her desires will be fulfilled? But at dinner time, all of this goes to the back of her mind and all she can see (and smell!) is the immediate: the food reward that she does not want to have to wait on. 

It is easy to recognize this in my dog, but not always so easy to recognize in my own life. Silly Beth, don't I know that my master, God, has not forgotten me? Don't I know that I can trust His goodness and kindness in my own life enough to wait for His timing? So often, I begin to question Him and His intentions in my life in the same way that Kota's barks and whines question my intention of giving her leftovers.  

So often, all I can see is the immediate. I want to meet my baby now, when really I need time to finish some preparations before its arrival. I want to have comfortable nights in bed, when really God is preparing me with these sleepless nights for all of the ones I will have with my newborn. I want the next stage of life to begin instead of cherishing the last days of this stage. 

But God, who is rich in mercy, is faithful to remind me of His goodness and kindness toward me through the picture of my dog. He reminds me that "They who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength, they shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint" (Is. 40:31).  My timing is not His timing, and that is a very good thing. And as I am waiting on His perfect timing I am reminded of His perfect faithfulness in my life.